Dating and Marriage


What motivated people to date? While the reasons vary, the goal tends to be the same. Marriage. At least that’s what we would hope for, right? As a matter of fact, that rarely seems to be the case. Depending on your age, status, and culture, there can be many different reasons why someone would date.
The first most prominent reason why people date is for recreation. This is most common amongst teens and young college students. The whole motive behind this form of dating is to just have fun, relax, and meet as many people you can! This can be great when leading up to marriage and finding the right spouse, but it can also be dangerous if this is the only type of dating a person is ever willing to engage in. As we progress to the college age and beyond, we enter into a new motive for dating, and that is intimacy and companionship. Studies have shown that men tend to look for sexual intimacy while females seek after interpersonal intimacy. Progressing onwards, mate selection is the next dominate reason why people date. People date looking to and hoping to get married someday. They date and weed out what they like and look at the qualities that they would like in a future spouse. Once found, people tend to get married. Some marry for love and others for the status that comes with being married. Dating and eventually marriage enhances one’s position in society. We see this played out in your “typical” high school. The cheerleader dates the star player of the football team. Dating each other brings up their social status within the school and their popularity. The same relates to the real world and why people date certain people. Power, money, and stability. Being married automictically makes you seem as more successful in life. We subconscious judge people when hearing their age and whether they are married or not. The final reason people date is for socialization. Dating is a great way to learn how to socialize with the opposite sex and to practice communicating your feelings or disagreements. Ultimately, preparing one for marriage and the many conflicts that will have to be discussed and solved.
With all of these reasons people date, why are so many people still single? Some of course are single by choice. They just got out of a relationship or they need time to find themselves. Others are single for a variety of reasons which I will discuss shortly. People who are involuntarily single tend to have a hard time finding a positive outlook on the situation. On the other hand, those who choose to be single are happy and feel as though this is the time in their life where they can focus on just themselves. Single people do not get married. It funny when people complain about not being married when in fact, they are the sole reason they are not married. Past relationships may have been unfulfilling or unhappy for them, causing them to have a negative connotation about dating. On the other side of the spectrum, the following reasons for being single are because of the individual, themselves. Their career may be more important than marriage, or they need time for personal growth and freedom from others. Marriage is not meant to be for two perfect people. But rather, it is when two very imperfect people decide that they want to be together and face the challenges of life together, and in turn, they become closer and stronger as a couple. If we as a society only believed that idea that marriage is for much later in life, when all variables in our life are stable, then no one would ever get married. Everything around us is unstable and changing. Let us accept this fact and embrace the challenges that will come our way with the person we love and choose to spend eternity with. Date with a purpose so your life can have purpose.


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