Secrets of Communication

Communication is the key to any relationship. How often do we hear that? Since I was little, that fact that communication was the way to be successful in life and the only way to have successful relationships, has been drilled into my head to the point that I do not know anything different. The only problem is that now days, almost no one knows how to effectively communicate with one another. They know that this is the way you should act but no one knows how to actually implement it. So many problems and conflicts could have been easily resolved if people just took the time to learn how to interact with one another and how to express one’s thoughts and feelings.

First off, it is so important that you take full responsibility for your own actions. Often times we get so distracted with the problems of other people that we do not see where we have been wrong in our own actions. The disarming technique is the best way to do this and to get the person there is a conflict with to take a step back and see where they were wrong as well. After you take responsibility for your own actions, look for the kernel of truth in the statement that the other person said. For instance, if someone said to you “You never show your appreciation for me and I am tired of feeling like I am being taken advantage of,” you can get from that they feel unappreciated and that you do not show your thanks towards them. Take this kernel of truth and blow it up into popcorn. You could say something along the lines “Yes, you are right. You do so much for me and I do not show my gratitude towards you nearly enough.” Immediately, this should catch the other person off guard and perhaps not only help yourself to see the situation in a different perspective, but them as well. You need to feel out the situation, find that kernel of truth and change your state of mind so you can help the other person and yourself to understand each other better. It might surprise you just what this simple method can do to your relationships within your own family and friends.

I have used this so much in my own life and it has greatly helped me with many situations that I have been stuck in. It helps to step down from the high pedestal that we all often think we have the right to be on, and to get onto someone else’s level and understand the situation in a whole new perspective. We not only will be able to resolve the conflict but we will also grow closer to that person and be less likely to have future problems that cannot be easily resolved. It is all about perspective. If we can learn to step outside of our own body and understand what others are feeling and thinking, it can only help us to become a more understanding person and less likely to start conflicts with those around you. If we can establish empathy for the other person and be assertive with our own feelings and then establish respect with the other person, there will be no problem that we cannot face and conquer head on. Even if there is not a problem but just a simple or complex decision to be made, it is so vital to work together as a team and communicate in order to make these decisions. Conflict in the future can be then avoided all together. Your life can be one of peace and serenity with the comfort of knowing that you are communicating well and being a successful person in the world.