Quality Time

Why do so many people find marriage and engagements so stressful? Often times, people just decide to split up because married life is “too hard” and they think they married the wrong person. In fact, many people just get a divorce rather than work through their problems. It is important to face these problems, head on, but together nonetheless. However, there are many things you can look for when you are dating, engaged to a person, and when you are trying to get to know them better. Hopefully after you are done reading this, you can analyze your own relationships and become a better companion to your already spouse or soon to be spouse.

            One of the most important things to know and look for in a relationship is goal driven behavior. This attribute is so vital when dating because believe it or not, how you date is a major indicator of how you will be when married. People who are goal driven in their dating stage of life are much more likely to keep that habit in marriage, which in turn, makes them much more successful in their relationship and in their family. When dating, couples often spend countless hours together and they think that doing that is the best thing for their relationship. I mean, if they get married they will be together all of the time, right? Wrong. When couples who hang out and spend all of this time together before they are actually married, they find they lack trust in their relationship and that they do not know how to live together and have a successful marriage. When you “hang out” rather than go on actual planed dates, the relationship lacks effort and order. Whereas couples who go on dates and plan actual activities to do together and get to know each other, their relationships and marriage are much stronger and have a more ideal appeal to it. Both of the members in the marriage are responsible for certain things and communication is much better. Wives can see beforehand if their husbands will take initiative and lead their families in a variety of activities and if they will provide for their families and of the needs that they may have. How you date can really show how a person is. It is not just a time to get to know someone but a time to see what they are truly like. Even after you are engaged, you should continue to go on dates. This gives a couple even more time to get to know each other and to make sure that their decisions are mutual and correct for where they are at life. If we are engaged and suddenly quit dating because they are already committed to each other, what does that show about how their marriage might be someday? Even after marriage you should continue to have date nights. I believe that once a week is ideal. It gives a couple a break from their crazy lives and their children and an opportunity to get to know each other again and make more memories together. I have always looked up to my parents when it came to their relationship. Every Friday is their date night and I would always get stuck babysitting my siblings. I used to hate it and feel like they were taking advantage of me because of course, I would never get paid for my work. But now that I am older, I see just how important these date nights were for them. Their marriage has blossomed over the years and they have become so much stronger and more understanding of each other because they took the time to get to know one another.

Dating, engagement, and marriage is hard. No one said it would be easy, but it is well worth it. It can be scary and something brand new to us and our significant other. But if we put in that extra effort and spend set apart time with one another, then it will prove to be beneficial to anyone and everyone.