Sexual Intimacy in a Family

So far, I have discussed everything about families when it comes to relationships within a home, same sex attraction, dating, engagement and marriage. But there is one important thing that I have yet to talk about; how to make a family! Or in other words, sex. There is so much meaning and beauty behind sexual intimacy between a man and a woman who are lawfully wedded, but the world has made it seem like taboo. The world we live in has perverted this topic and made it something that people feel awkward to discuss about in public but are fine with taking advantage of in private. Sex can actually become something sacred and special when used correctly. I am going to try and break the norm and discuss freely what a healthy sexual relationship is and how we can do better at educating people about sex in a non-threating way. There is so much we can learn and use to benefit our relationships now and, in the future, if we are willing to open up to it.

First off, why do people have sex? Why is it normal that a happy couple who is married has sex with one another even when they aren’t trying to have children? Sex shows emotional stability. It helps to build a stronger connection, even outside of the bed room. It shows that they know each other on an intimate and trusting level and that there is a special love for one another. While these are not always the case in all relationships, they are the ideal. One of the most vital things that any couple can do is communicate. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. No one here can read minds or know exactly what they should say or do to make someone else happy. That is why we communicate; to get our feelings across to another person in order to better a situation. This is the same for during sex. You should communicate before, during, and after. It not only will strengthen your relationship with each other, but neither person will ever then be in a situation that is uncomfortable or even scary. Women and men are so different and because of that, it is often easy to misunderstand each other. These simple misunderstandings can lead to conflict and continue to grow into something much worse. For example, it is said that women tend to have sex when they feel safe, close, and warm to the man. On the other hand, it is said that men have sex in order to feel safe, close, and warm to the woman. Just this simple idea is the root for many problems in a sexual relationship. These differences between men and women are meant to be there for a reason. We were made a certain way and it is important to learn how to work with our imperfect human bodies and communicate with others in order to become close to them and have a strong relationship.

All of this aside, it is so important to realize that a good sex life does not mean a good relationship. Sex is not what will make a marriage great or and will not hold a marriage together. There are couples who have a less than ideal sex life but have a satisfying marriage and have been together for years! People think that if their partner does not perform well or if it is not satisfying for them, that they married the wrong person and aren’t meant to be. This idea could not be more wrong! I cannot stress the importance of knowing that sex will not hold a relationship together. If you have a strong relationship that goes deeper than just sexual attraction, you will have a strong relationship outside of the bedroom. You do not need sex to feel satisfied, but you do need intimacy. You need a relationship where there is friendship, communication, respect, admiration, and much more. Yes, a good sex life can enhance a couple’s intimacy, but it’s in no way necessary to the relationship for fulfillment. There is so much more that goes into a healthy marriage than just the physical intimacy. As I said in a previous blog post, as you continue to get to know someone, the importance of their physical attractiveness goes way down. Because of this, it is apparent that looks and sex are not everything. There is so much more to it than just that, but the world has us believing otherwise. That’s why we need to be open with each other. We need to discuss boundaries and we need to talk to our children and teach them when it is the appropriate time. We need to focus on the emotional aspect of sex and all that it encompasses. Never underestimate your ability to teach your children. Their learning and growth all start in the home and it is in the home that they should feel safe and comfortable talking to their parents about anything. If they don’t learn from you, they’ll learn it from somewhere else which opens up a whole new world of dangers.

Start now and help to change the world. Remember that sexual intimacy between a man and a woman who love each other and are bound to one another can be one of the most beautiful acts ever known to mankind. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise for it is that knowledge that can destroy any relationship.